Mentally Stabbing Yourself

When I studied business at university, I had to take a compulsory programming course. I thought it was exciting as it was something new to learn. But I struggled with it compared to my other courses.

In our final project, a robotics course, I was paired with someone who was clearly a decent coder. They pretty much did all of the heavy coding, while I pitched in here and there. I was so embarrassed about feeling behind and not being able to contribute as a coder, that from that day on, I always told myself that I was a bad coder.

I labeled myself as a "bad coder" for so long, that I never even tried to learn coding properly. That was 12 years ago and that label still affects me today. I never applied to Microsoft or Google because I told myself I wasn't good at coding. I never pursued data analyst roles, because I told myself I wasn't good at coding.

So for the past 12 years, I've defaulted to consulting and project management, rather than trying to get to grips with programming.

Now, 12 years later, I'm trying to give myself another chance, I'm going to learn coding over the next 2 years and see what I can do.